


Lights

by TheBlackMagister



Series: Tattoos [5]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Bottom Rick, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, First Time, Gentle Negan (Walking Dead), Gentle Sex, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Character Death, Past Rick Grimes/Shane Walsh, Sad Carl Grimes, Sweet Negan (Walking Dead), Top Negan (Walking Dead), Trans Carl Grimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 12:57:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11162307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlackMagister/pseuds/TheBlackMagister
Summary: It's Christmas. Negan's taking on the role of a dad, and Rick's ready to try new things.





	Lights

**Author's Note:**

> i'm really sorry i'm aromantic so i rly dont understand romantic attraction so negan's explanation may be lacking but hey !! i tried

Holy shit it’s already Christmas Eve what the fuck.

It’s this thought that strikes Negan as he’s standing in line at the grocery store. He considers this while he waits. It’s already been almost a month since he’d asked Rick out, and even in such a short time he’s already practically moved in. Hell – he’s fucking grocery shopping for Christmas dinner.

It’s been a while since he’s actually celebrated Christmas. He’d never really had reason to, not since Lucille had passed. But this year – between Rick’s childlike enthusiasm for cheer, and Rick’s _actual_ children, mostly Carl, being excited. Carl’s excitement had actually sort of taken Negan by surprise; the poor kid’s been through so damn much, and he’s a little anti-social and.. Negan doesn’t want to say _depressed_ , since he’s not a damn psychologist, but Carl’s definitely withdrawn and closed off.

The girl at the checkout is real sweet, and once he’s to the front he’s out in only about five minutes. As he’s unloading his cart into the minivan of Rick’s ( _of course_ Rick would drive a goddamn minivan) his phone rings, and he fumbles to both put bags away and also answer the phone.

“Hey,” He says once he’s answered, “What’s up?”

“Did you make sure to get the lights?” Rick doesn’t even say hello, although Negan’s used to that. “I had an idea but I need your help ‘cause you’re taller than me.”

“Yeah, I got ‘em. No worries. Whatcha thinking?”

“I can’t tell you!” Rick laughs, and Negan can hear him shuffling around. “You’ll see when you get home!”

“Ahh.. alright. Anyway, I’m just about to leave here, so I’ll be home in a bit, okay?”

“Okay.” Then there’s a clatter and Rick mumbles “fuck!” “Love you, bye!”

For a moment Negan contemplates what the hell Rick’s done now, and then figures he’ll see when he gets home. Knowing Rick, it could be anything. He smiles to himself as he hops into the driver’s seat. Rick’s adorable, and he’s so in love.

When he gets home Rick’s on the porch, stretching up to hang lights on the edges of the house. Negan chuckles as he gets out of the van, and Rick glances over at him and smiles.

“Hey!” Rick slings more lights over one more nail and then heads over to meet Negan. “Was it busy?”

“As hell,” Negan agrees, handing Rick a couple of bags. “Here, you wanted to cook, you know what to do with that.”

“What else did you get?” Rick questions, trying to see, but Negan just guides him around the side of the van with a smirk.

“It’s not important, babe. Go on, I got the rest.”

Rick makes a face, but nonetheless he takes the food inside. Negan returns to the rest of his shopping, careful to make sure neither Rick nor Carl is around as he carries it in and to the guest bedroom. He’d already done some Christmas shopping, but fuck, he can’t really stop himself from buying more gifts. He hasn’t spoiled anybody in ages and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get right back into it.

While Rick wraps gifts, Negan heads to pick up Carl from a friend’s. When Carl comes out and climbs in the van there’s a pink tinge in his cheeks and on the tips of his ears. D’aw. Negan tries not to grin too much, because he _knows_ that blush. Carl’s got a crush.

“Did you have fun?” Although he can’t resist teasing the kid. Carl grumbles a little, turning an even brighter pink and folding his arms. Negan just laughs, ruffling his hair.

“Where’s dad?” Carl asks, ducking away from Negan’s hand. Negan grins.

“Wrapping gifts for us hellions.” Negan hums, casting a glance at the boy beside him. Carl’s inherited his father’s slender face and bright blue eyes, but there’s a deeper anger than in Rick. After a pause Carl lets out a sigh, shifting a little.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Negan frowns, glancing over at him again. “Sure, anything.”

“How do you know if you’re in love?”

Negan’s taken aback. That’s.. not what he’d been expecting, not out of Carl. Carl looks nervous, though, fidgeting in the seat next to him.

“Sorry?”

“I just mean..” Carl hesitates, biting his lip. “You’ve been married and – and you’re in love with my dad, right? I mean, how do you know?”

“Well..” Negan begins slowly. How the fuck is he supposed to answer that? “It’s not really.. I mean, it’s a feeling. Contrary to popular belief it’s not just _sleeping together_ , or anything. It’s.. being able to sit in comfortable silence, and getting butterflies at everything, and just.. being happy, I guess? Somebody who doesn’t overwhelm you. You just _know_.”

“Oh.” Carl settles, a little. Then he adds, “I don’t want to be in love.”

“Oh?” Negan glances at him again. “How come?”

“Just..” Carl exhales. “I don’t want to lose anyone the way dad lost mom. I’m still not.. not really used to.. being without her. And I don’t wanna..” He trails off, and Negan feels the pang of sympathy in his heart. Carl’s young, too young to have to deal with that shit.

“You don’t worry about that, okay?” Negan says softly, reaching over and taking Carl’s hand soothingly. “You’re still young. You have time. And the rewards of being in love way outweigh what might happen, I promise you that.” And then, after a thoughtful pause, he adds, “That sounded really old, didn’t it?”

Carl smiles a little at that. “Yeah. It kind of did.”

Negan laughs.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon is hectic: amongst wrapping paper and bows and boxes Judith ends up getting sick, and while she doesn’t seem to actually have an illness Rick’s paranoid. Not that Negan can blame him. Still, Rick doesn’t come to bed until later than normal, and by then Negan’s almost ready to turn in himself, having read his novel in lamplight for half an hour.

Rick curls up against him almost immediately after stripping down, though, nuzzled in against his neck, and he hums, wrapping an arm around Rick’s body. He’s always a little taken aback; Rick’s not super soft like a woman, and while he’s still nicely shaped there’s something definitively masculine about him. Not that Negan minds in the least.

“Negan?” Rick murmurs, after Negan figures he’s fallen asleep.

“Yeah?”

“I want to – I want to ask you for something. For Christmas.”

“Shit, baby,” Negan chuckles. “I’ve about blown my whole goddamn bank account on you. What do you want?”

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to pay for this. I mean, unless you just.. want to.” Rick grins shyly. “I want you to make love to me, Negan.”

Negan stares at him for a long moment. They’ve been intimate – quite frequently, actually – Negan had discovered early on Rick’s love of being subjugated. But they hadn’t had sex yet. Not so much that Rick’s shy – he is – but he tends to get freaked out when they do more than gentle fingering – which he only settles to do in a specific position – hell, he hardly even lets Negan jerk him off, let alone blow him or anything else. Negan knows the younger man feels bad about it, but he doesn’t want Rick to feel pressured.

“Are you sure?” Negan runs one hand down Rick’s cheek, fingers rubbing over the stubble on Rick’s jaw. “We don’t have to, baby.”

“I want it, Negan.” Rick leans into Negan’s touch, eyes closing. “I know you won’t hurt me. I trust you.”

“Of course,” Negan murmurs, leaning down and kissing his boyfriend slow and soft. Rick sighs happily, reaching up and running his fingers through Negan’s dark hair. Negan caresses up his sides, cupping his neck and jaw and licking into his mouth.

“Negan,” Rick mumbles against Negan’s lips, both arms winding around Negan’s shoulders. “Please. Want you.”

“I know, baby.” Negan kisses down to his neck, fingers dipping into the band of his boxers. “I’m gonna take care of you, I promise.”

Negan tongues over his pulse, tugging his boxers down and off, and he lifts his hips, breath hitching. God, he’s beautiful. And nervous – Negan can feel him trembling.

“I’m scared,” Rick breathes, when Negan’s lips have moved to the soft spot behind his ear. “God, Negan, I..”

“We don’t have to do this, Rick. I mean it. Give me the word and I’ll stop, you know I will.”

Rick takes a deep breath – shaky inhale, exhale. He swallows hard, closing his eyes. “I’m scared, but.. I want this,” He says after a moment. “I want _you_.”

Negan kisses him, slow and sweet. Rick lets out a shaky sigh, lips parting, but very quickly Negan moves on, kissing down his neck and chest. Rick squirms a little, and slips his legs over Negan’s shoulders. Negan hums, thumbing over Rick’s soft thighs as he gets closer to Rick’s waist.

“Rick,” Negan murmurs, casting a hazel gaze up to Rick’s face, and Rick’s blue eyes meet his.

“K-keep going,” Rick says, voice shaking. “Please.”

Negan nods, nuzzling against Rick’s hipbones and then further, nosing around the base of Rick’s cock. Rick whimpers, head falling back into the pillows, but he lifts his hips closer to Negan, so Negan takes the initiative to lick up the length of Rick’s underside. Rick bites his fist to stifle a moan, bucking upwards involuntarily.

“So good,” Negan purrs, giving Rick’s shaft another lick and then lifting his mouth to the tip. “Such a good boy, baby. Look at you, looking so pretty for me.”

Rick whimpers, shaking from head to toe. His fingers curl into Negan’s dark hair, and Negan hums, wrapping his lips around the head of Rick’s cock. Rick moans out again, although he quickly pulls a pillow over his face to try and muffle it. The sounds only get sweeter as Negan begins to suck in earnest, bobbing quickly down against Rick’s dick.

“Negan,” Rick chokes, back arching. “Negan, oh fuck.”

Negan pulls off and instead buries his face between Rick’s thighs, tongue swirling over his entrance. Rick pulls against his hair, panting and keening shamelessly, hips rolling. Negan can’t help smirking. One of his biggest fears had been not being able to care for Rick – but by the noises Rick’s making, he needn’t have worried at all.

By the time Negan pulls away Rick’s spread and practically melting into the mattress. His curls are all over the pillow and his chest is heaving, blue eyes glazed with pleasure. Negan nuzzles against the side of his neck, leaving soft little kisses on his pale skin.

“You alright?” Negan checks, stroking through Rick’s hair. Rick nods, eyelashes fluttering. After one more check over to make sure Rick’s okay Negan reaches over to the bedside table to grab the lube. He pops the cap, and then catches the momentary look of fear that crosses Rick’s face. Negan lets out a long breath, shifting so that he’s kneeling properly in between Rick’s thighs.

“Okay, Rick. This has gotta stop. I need you to talk to me, baby, why does doing this freak you out?”

“Negan..” Rick exhales, biting his lip. “It’s just.. I haven’t really.. been in bed with a guy in a – a long time.”

Negan frowns. “So.. what? Are you afraid of your performance or what?”

“I – what? No.” Rick snorts. “It’s.. well.. the – the thing is, see.. my sophomore year of high school was pretty much just experimentation. And it was – it was just me and my best friend, you know? And we.. tried all sorts of shit, but sometimes, you know, just, he didn’t know when to stop and..” Rick takes a deep breath. “It wasn’t his fault and I know you wouldn’t do that to me but.. I just.. can’t shake the fear.”

Negan softens, running two fingers down over Rick’s cheek. Rick leans into his touch and sighs, and for the love of fuck Negan wants to protect him.

“Do you want to stop?” Negan murmurs, leaning down and resting their foreheads together. Rick gives a soft little shake of his head.

“No. I want you to fuck me.”

Negan nods, and after pressing a slow kiss to Rick’s lips he slicks two fingers and teases one into Rick. Rick’s hips buck and the younger man hisses on an inhale, eyes closing. He’s tight and warm, and Negan can’t help getting a little excited at the prospect of being able to get into him.

Slowly he works in the other, pausing to wait for Rick’s permission to continue before he begins to work the digits in and out. Rick’s shaking, partly with nerves but mostly in pleasure, and his legs wind around Negan’s waist, drawing into his fingers.

“Does it feel good?” Negan prompts, crooking his fingers a little, and Rick whimpers.

“Yes. Negan..”

Rick squirms, lips parting with soft little pants, nose scrunched as he rocks back. Shit, he’s so damn attractive. Negan carefully scissors the digits inside him, stretching Rick open slowly, bit by bit. Rick’s making such pretty little sounds, clutching at Negan’s biceps.

“Such a good boy,” Negan soothes, searching out Rick’s prostate. “So good, baby. Look at you, all spread and pretty for me. I love you.”

“Love you,” Rick manages back, throwing his head back into the pillows. “Oh God don’t stop Negan please.”

Negan smirks a little, leaning down and sucking a hickey into the side of Rick’s neck. Rick moans, back arching, and Negan slips in a third dry finger – more to see if Rick could take it than anything else. And hell, Rick does. Rick’s gasping and panting, fists curling into the sheets, but he lifts his hips at the third intrusion and even rocks into it.

“Tell me when you want to move on.” Negan murmurs. Rick whines.

“Fuck me,” Rick begs. “Please fuck me.”

Negan waits a moment before pulling his fingers out, and for a pause he lets Rick tremble and pant and sink into the mattress. He looks gorgeous, pale skin contrasting with the darkness of their sheets, curls spread on the pillowcase, blue eyes hooded. His bare chest heaves, and as he begins to relax he lets go of the sheets.

Negan’s careful to coat his cock with lube well. He’s not sure Rick could handle anything but skin on skin right now and he doesn’t want to make Rick uncomfortable, not for their first time. Besides – he knows they’re both clean, and there’s no chance for pregnancy, thank God.

“You ready, baby?” He says, glancing over Rick’s body. Rick takes a deep breath.

“Yes. Do it.”

Slowly Negan presses forward, easing into Rick’s body. _Fuck_ , Rick’s tight. Rick covers his mouth to stifle a high-pitched keen of mixed pain and pleasure, and both legs wind around Negan’s waist. Negan takes deep breaths. It wouldn’t be good to just fuck right into him – but damn, is it tempting.

It takes a few moments for Negan to bottom out, panting, pressing bruises into Rick’s hips. Rick’s whimpering, blue eyes half-lidded and dark with lust. Holy shit, Negan wants to devour him. Slowly Negan pulls back, gritting his teeth at the friction inside Rick’s body. Rick whines, real soft, eyes closing.

“So good,” Negan mutters. “Fuck, baby, you’re so fucking tight.”

“More,” Rick breathes, hips lifting a little. “Fuck me, Negan, more, please.”

Negan picks up a steady pace, rocking into him with deep, even thrusts. Rick’s so fucking warm – searing hot around Negan’s cock, and fucking fuck Rick’s so good. Negan groans lowly, head tilting back, resisting the urge to fuck Rick hard enough to break the headboard on the wall.

“So good, Negan,” Rick whimpers. “Don’t stop, please. Feels good.”

“I know, baby,” Negan soothes. “That’s it. Just let me take care of you, love.”

“Love you,” Rick gasps. “Love you Negan. Please.”

“I know.” Negan nuzzles his throat, arms wrapping around his waist, picking up the pace and thrusting deep into Rick’s body. “I know, baby.”

“’m close.” Rick sounds pleading, blue eyes gazing up at Negan. “Let me cum, please.”

“You don’t need to ask. You can cum whenever you need to.”

Rick bites his fist to stifle a sob, and Negan kisses away the tears clinging to his eyelashes. He’s cumming, then, hard, arching his back and spilling against their stomachs. Negan pulls out, stroking himself to orgasm against Rick’s hips. Then, momentarily, they sit still, Negan kissing Rick real slow, stroking over the soft stubble on Rick’s jaw.

“You okay, baby?” Negan murmurs, and Rick nods. Slowly Negan lifts him out of bed and carries him to the shower. By the time they’re dried off and in bed Rick’s already out, clinging to Negan.

* * *

Carl’s their alarm clock in the morning, opening the door and reminding them – very loudly – that it’s Christmas. Rick groans into Negan’s neck, but Negan chuckles and tells Carl to wait, they’ll be out shortly.

“Alright, babe. Come on. Christmas.”

“I don’t wanna,” Rick complains, and Negan rolls his eyes. He slides out of bed, slapping Rick’s ass lightly to get Rick out, too, and after much grumbling Rick finally gets up. Negan’s proud to see Rick’s limping a little.

Negan fetches Judith while Rick deals with Carl, trying to coax Carl into being patient. Not that it works very well – when they start down the stairs Carl takes them two at a time. Negan thinks it’s cute, honestly. It’s good Carl gets to be a kid.

There had been one specific gift Negan had been nervous about, one of Carl’s. He hadn’t wanted to overstep his bounds, but he couldn’t think of anything better to get the boy.

“A.. a binder?” Carl breathes, and those piercing blue eyes lift to Negan’s face. Negan nods, and holy shit is Carl _crying_? Then Carl flings himself at Negan, mumbling “Thank you” over and over, and Negan softens. He rubs Carl’s back gently.

“Easy, kid.” He soothes, and Carl leans back, tears still clinging to his eyelashes.

“Thank you,” Carl says again, as if maybe Negan hadn’t heard the first four hundred times. Negan chuckles softly.

“It’s nothing, really. I want you to be happy.”

Carl just nods, wiping at his face and sinking back to the floor. Judith starts getting restless, then, though, and they wrap it up pretty quickly. There’s an unreadable expression on Rick’s face when he approaches Negan, watching Carl ascend the steps to make sure the binder fits. It’s not bad – just oddly soft and affectionate.

“Thank you,” Rick says, voice soft. Negan just chuckles, shaking his head.

“Not you, too.”

“I mean it,” Rick insists. “This means a lot to him. It’s really sweet of you.” Negan grins a little, wrapping one arm around Rick’s shoulders and kissing the top of Judith’s head.

“It’s not a big deal. You know why?” Rick glances up at him, blue eyes round and innocent.

“Why?” Negan kisses him quickly before answering, deep and slow.

“Because you guys – all of you – are my family now.”


End file.
